Category: Foster to Adopt
At Sunrise we often celebrate success stories in our foster families, including adoptions. But we realize that many children have a goal of reunification with their birth families. And so do many parents.
For Arnisha Shegog, parent of four children, that goal was realized. On November 4, 2021, Shegog was reunited with all four of her children. This was actually after the second time her children were placed in the foster care system.
The first time her kids entered foster care occurred when one of her children was abused by a family member. At that time, Shegog was a single mother, just coming home from the hospital with her fourth child. “I needed to seek mental help because I was unable to help my kids and be a proactive mother,” said Shegog. “I didn’t have family to turn to . . . so I leaned a shoulder on foster care . . . . Foster care took my kids in and did the best that they could. So that was the first round.”
The second time occurred when she was married. Less than two weeks after her marriage ceremony, one of Shegog’s daughters shared with an adult at school that she felt unsafe at home. “I was the victim of domestic violence,” stated Shegog. “My kids had to go back to foster care.”
During this incredibly difficult time, Shegog turned to her faith. “I needed to really speak to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ as my higher power,” she said. “And I was like, ‘God, help me get out of this situation. I’m stuck. I have my kids in foster care. I’m married. What do I need to do?’”
Shegog quickly realized that she too had to remove herself from an unsafe environment. “I had to seek divorce, and I had to seek ways of helping my kids get out of a situation of foster care,” she stated. She also sought help for herself: getting domestic violence counseling, dealing with past trauma, and taking care of her mental health.
In the middle of all this, she heard God’s voice clearer than ever. “God was like, ‘Dig deeper. I need you to come closer to me,’” she recalled. And when she did, she knew exactly what to do: start a non-profit organization to break the silence of women caught in domestic violence. “So, I started a non-profit, the Arnisha Shegog Mentorship Program, which cares for basically anyone that wants to have a voice (or who is needing help),” said Shegog. The program officially began on July 26, 2021.
While her children were in foster care the second time, Shegog focused on getting herself back to a better place mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. “I basically gave my kids back to Christ because I knew what I’ve done to put them in that unpredictable circumstance; now I needed to work on myself,” she said. “So, I gave my kids back to God. And I said, ‘God, I’ve done all the assessments that the court wanted me to do, I’m visiting them on time, I’m making sure I’m being a good correspondent to whatever they need.’ As much as I can do, I did; then it was time for me to work on myself. So, that’s what I’ve done. And November 4, that’s when I got my kids back.”
Shegog was joyful and appreciative to receive her children back in her home. She is also very appreciative of the care that her children received in the foster care system. Her oldest girl was fostered by a family at the girl’s elementary school, and her two boys were fostered by the owner of the daycare center they attended.
Her youngest daughter, who was living in multiple foster homes, was eventually placed in a Sunrise foster family. “Sunrise has my absolute approval!” exclaimed Shegog. “You can sleep at night with so much ease. Beautiful organization and beautiful people.”
Stacy and John Tyler White were the Sunrise foster parents who fostered Shegog’s youngest girl. Both are on staff at Hillcrest Baptist Church in Hopkinsville. John Tyler is the worship and missions pastor, and Stacy is the outreach and assimilation director. “John Tyler is exceptional. Stacy is beautiful inside and out. Their whole family is beautiful,” said Shegog. “They understand the inside and out of raising kids within foster care. Sunrise is a Christian-faith-based organization, so I felt good knowing that my daughter was loved under God.”
It has been quite a journey for Shegog, and she now finds herself and her family at a good place. “It may be chaotic when I go to Walmart with two buggies, because one’s for groceries and one’s for household items, but that’s my peace. At the end of the day, my kids are happy,” she stated. “I had to realize that I’d rather have those two Walmart buggies, being at peace and at joy with my kids at the end of the day, than being in a chaotic marriage.”
Through it all, Shegog is thankful for God’s presence every step of the way. “God brought me out of my deepest, darkest place. I really see what God is doing in my life. My purpose is to speak life and to bring awareness,” she said. “If my kids weren’t (placed into foster care), I wouldn’t have found my joy of being a mentor for other people.”
As a mentor, she has lots to say to people who are going through experiences that she has already walked through. “You think that child services, or CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocates), or the Department of Children and Family Services are against you; but they’re just holding up a red banner saying, ‘You need help.’ Use that red banner to go and seek help,” she stated passionately. “And don’t be ashamed if you have mental illness. You’re still a good person just like anybody else.”
And she has a special message for single mothers: “For the single mothers out there with one kid up to multiple kids like me, if I can do it with four kids, you can do it with one or two. God bless!”
And may God bless you, Arnisha, as you continue to pour your life and love into your family and into the lives of others. You are truly a blessing to many.
Autumn Todd knows all about Sunrise Children’s Services back when it was Kentucky Baptist Homes for Children. She experienced the program firsthand as a foster child living in about six or seven different Sunrise foster homes, in our former Dixon Center (on two separate occasions), and in our former Genesis Home (in Mayfield). “I spent probably over half my childhood in (Sunrise) placement,” Autumn said.
Autumn appreciates the help she received from Sunrise. “I would say that getting placement in Sunrise Children’s Services really helped me learn coping skills to control a lot of anger issues and to understand how my childhood abuse and trauma had affected me,” she said. “It gave me those coping skills to emerge from (the trauma) and move forward as an adult.”
But it wasn’t always easy. “Honestly, one of the hardest times for me was going through group homes, not having a family, and then constantly seeing people go in and out, in and out, in and out,” she stated. “It was really rough.”
Fortunately, Autumn always felt the love and support from the Sunrise staff. “I really feel like, growing up in Sunrise placement, whenever I came to a new home, or I came to a group home, they did not judge me. They just wanted to care for me. They wanted to give me a safe place and somewhere to start new, somewhere to learn new things,” she said. “And I feel like they gave me the ‘love your neighbor’ essence . . . through all those actions and through the lack of (judging), just making me feel that I belong and giving me those coping skills, and giving me the treatment and the care that I needed.”
Today, Autumn is married to her husband, Travis, and has two daughters: Beatrice, who is 10 years old, and Luna, who is five. Autumn and Travis also own a cell phone repair business together called IBuyCell&Fix, in Princeton. Now as an adult, it seemed like the right time for Autumn to give back to Sunrise. “We were finally in a position to do something for the children that were in the situation I grew up in,” she stated. And that’s exactly what they did.
At the end of 2021, they began a collection drive at their business to bring in personal hygiene items for the girls and boys currently living in Sunrise’s residential centers. They ended up collecting enough items for the kids as well as for victims of the tornado that hit the community, and for adults living in a local adult group home called Highland Homes. “(Our business) is in a very small shop, and the whole lobby was filled,” shared Autumn. “It was really crazy the community support we got from this.”
With the hygiene items, it was important for Autumn that the Sunrise kids each received a two-month supply. “The reason we chose hygiene items is because growing up in the group homes and the foster homes, I was only allotted $10 a month,” she explained. “The children in state custody today are still only allotted $10 a month! I just remember all the times when things went missing or somebody would steal my stuff because they couldn’t afford stuff of their own. It was just the worst feeling . . . . So, that’s why we chose (to do this).”
This year, she plans to go even bigger, collecting more of the same items they did last year, and adding clothing. Autumn is hoping to get a list of each child’s sizes prior to the drive. She’s also planning to collect even more items for Highland Homes. “We’re going to start it much earlier,” she said. “We’re probably going to start it a month-and-a-half before Christmas, and we’re going to pay for some advertising for it.”
Eventually, in the years to come, she wants to provide for the Sunrise residential kids what was provided for her when she was in residential care: a pancake breakfast. “We want to rent the town hall or go to the group itself and do a pancake breakfast and bring Santa and all the kids’ presents,” Autumn said. “It was just one of the coolest things that happened to me whenever it was the holiday time.”
Most of all, she wants to give to the girls and boys of Sunrise a sense of belonging. “I want to have a meal with them and give them a sense of family,” she shared. “I was one of the few kids in the group home who didn’t have family. A lot of the girls had someone that would come pick them up for home visits. I didn’t at all. And I would sit there on Christmas, with a staff member, by myself; and the best thing I got to do was pick the movie. It was so sad, honestly. And I just hate that.”
This has led Autumn to consider a more permanent way to help replace sadness with happiness in the life of current foster kids. “We are looking into fostering,” she shared. She has recently been talking with her former Sunrise therapist, Angie, about fostering in the near future. Autumn and Travis are purchasing their first home and are already making plans to renovate and add more bedrooms. “Whenever we get (the renovation) done, we (want to) start fostering,” said Autumn.
As a former foster kid herself, Autumn has a unique understanding of what current foster children are experiencing. She wants them to know that even though they have a different way of thinking because of their upbringing, everything will be okay. Her personal word to current foster children is this: “You have to focus on your mental health; focus on breaking generational curses and identifying your triggers. And learn that even though you grew up in this situation – in state custody or in foster homes or in group homes – it doesn’t mean that you can’t be successful, because you definitely can. You just have to want it. And you have to want to break those generational curses.”
It appears that Autumn is well on her way to breaking the generational curses in her own life, and is now doing what she can to instill that drive in others, particularly in those who have been on a similar journey. Thank you, Autumn, for showing us what a former foster kid can become, and what a remarkable future foster parent might look like!
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Dear Devan . . .
The following letter is from Ashley Wyatt, a Sunrise foster parent. She gave the letter to her son on the day of his adoption.
Dear Devan,
You have been my family since the moment I met you in the River Valley waiting area. You were our first call; I was hesitant at first, I won’t lie, but my gut told me you needed me and I needed you. You coming to live with us has been one of the greatest adventures of my life. We had some rough times in the beginning, that’s no doubt. There has been happiness, stress, tears, a lot of firsts. But it didn’t take me long to know that you were meant to be my son and I was meant to be your mom. Sometimes I feel like God made you for us from the very beginning. Heck, you even look like us. I don’t know why our journey to get to each other was filled with such heartache. I’ll never understand why you had to go through so much pain; if I could take it from you I would. But even if I don’t understand, I’m thankful to have what we have now. As one of my favorite songs says, “It’s not where you come from, it’s where you belong.” There is no doubt in my mind that you belong here. We have loved you for 997 days now; I’ve waited for this moment to make you officially my son for what feels like a lifetime and I’m so incredibly happy to be able to do so today! You’re such a sweet boy. You love us, you love people and care about others, you’re funny and smart, your laugh lights up my world, I love the goofy things you say and do. You are the best big brother; you are protective of your family. You are one of the strongest people I know. People tell me we changed your life, but really you changed ours! You made me a mom. My first baby, my son.
So today on your adoption day, I will promise you a few things. I promise to always love you, no matter what you do. I promise to never give up on you. I promise to always keep you safe. I promise to support your dreams, even if they aren’t what I think you should do. I promise to love you even when you make bad decisions or do something crazy, because I feel like we are going to have some of those moments. I just want you to know that no matter what the future holds, Momma is going to be right beside you.
I will forever be thankful that you were given to us. I love you infinity baby.
Love, Momma 💙
Sunrise Parents Welcome Two More to their Family
Jeff and Kathleen Grams are the proud parents of Harriet and Tobias Grams. Their adoption occurred on October 5th, 2021 in Hart County. Jeff and Kathleen are Sunrise foster parents with the Bowling Green foster care office.
In the picture above, Jeff and Kathleen are on the far left, with Tobias and Harriet on the far right.
At the age of five, Madison* and her three sisters were living with a mother who deeply loved them, but was not able, because of her own drug and mental health issues, to take care of the children.
So social services stepped in and removed all four children, placing them in foster care. After Madison had turned six years old, she was placed back with her mother, along with her sisters. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the end of the movement from home to home.
When Madison was 10 years old, she was placed in a loving Sunrise foster home for a time due to the poor living conditions in her mother’s home, coupled with Madison’s continued deterioration of performance and behavior in school. Back and forth she moved from foster care, to mom, to foster care – but now it was with the same Sunrise home each time.
Even when Madison went home, her foster parents befriended her mother, helping to buy clothes and shoes and food. But by the time Madison was 12, she came to live with her foster parents and would never go home to live with her mother again.
Four years later, Madison is approaching her 16th birthday. Her foster parents have recently become her adopted parents, and Madison is doing better than ever. Her grades have improved at school. Her behavior is also improving at home and school with each passing month, and Madison is in the process of expanding her skill set by getting a job in her local community.
While Madison misses her mother and sisters, she is very grateful that her new parents have loved her unconditionally for the last six years, and will be her forever family for the rest of her life. Madison is truly blessed, and so are her parents! Another Sunrise adoption. Another life changed!
*Name has been changed to protect the identity of individual.
Sunrise values the partnership we have had with the Commonwealth of Kentucky for more than 40 years. Our goal is to ensure that Kentucky’s most vulnerable children receive the vital services and care they need, whether through Sunrise or through other agencies. We are still committed to working with the current administration in changing the lives of kids for the better.
The Conkright family adopted one of our Sunrise youth on June 3. Since the start of the foster-to-adopt program in 2006, Sunrise has celebrated more than 530 adoptions!
Are you interested in our Foster-to-Adopt program? Did you know that adoption eligible children, who are waiting in the foster care system can range anywhere from infants to young adults? Many of the children waiting to be adopted have siblings in the system who are also eligible for adoption. We strive to keep sibling groups together at all cost. The majority of foster care children are perfectly healthy children who need love, guidance, and a stable environment from a nurturing adult.
